I'm going to a night vale live show
I have philosophy next year at school
The guy who sorta bullied me apolpgised to me
I'm very anxious to hear if I passed anglia(C1 exam)
I still haven't lost any weight
I still hate myself
I am terrified to inform for a job at the bookstore
I have a friend we are alike in many points, we like the same music, only she listens to more bands than I do, we watch the same series, only she watches more diverse series, we think the same in a lot of ways, but of course not everything. I've always called her the better version of me, not to her face but in my head and when discussing her with other friends. Why do I do that? let me tell you, she is everything I am and more. She is smarter than I am, that is weird to say because we follow different classes, but in the ones we share she is better except math I dominate in that. She is pretty, this is something she doesn't know herself 'cause who in this world thinks he or she is gorgeous. She is about 1.72m, has long legs, well shaped breasts, and is part Russian, did I mention she is skinny but not too skinny, healthy skinny. And I am so envious of that, because I am the complete opposite.
About the self hate and god part (intentionally not writing god with a capital G) I thought about it the other day. What if god makes people hate themselves for a reason. I was just lying in my bed doing nothing but think about the future, and how I will never have sex because of my body and the way people, and me, feel about it.
so what if self hate is implanted in brains to keep people from doing things. that would be weird but I somehow can't stop to think that little things like that are part of a bigger picture. I know I'm strange.